Post by John J. Winthorpe on Oct 17, 2006 19:32:00 GMT -5
Try to be more descriptive. For example:
Not Descriptive: The scene opens and we see The Father sitting at his desk in his office. He raises his head and speaks.
Descriptive: The scene opens and we see The Father sitting at his oak desk, he is signing papers and reading documents. He has a gold pen in hand. The room is covered in pictures of wrestlers, old and new. There is a leather sofa in the corner, and the floors are covered in plush shag carpet. 2 leather padded chairs sit in front of his desk. Behind him a sliding covered window is open over looking the arnea, and the ring.
Show people where you are. Get them in the room with you. Help them to see whats going on. When you describe the area, it helps paint people a better image of whats going on.
Also, describe yourself and your actions better.
Not Descriptive: Deathbringer comes out on the stage and heads down to the ring.
Descriptive: Deathbringer steps out on the stage. He is wearing a black long sleeve t-shirt, with a black motorcylce vest over it. He is wearing blue jeans, with rips down the side. He has a belt on with silver studs all around it. He has black leather motorcycle boots with silver tips. He steps forward and the edge of the stage explodes with pyros. He walks through the sparks and marches down the ramp shaking hands and giving high fives. He reaches the ring apron and thros one leg up, pulling the other behind him to stand on the apron. He steps over the top rope, into the ring, then moves to the center where he raises both hands high above his head. A microphone is thrown in the ring, and he begins to speak.
The first gets the point done quickly. But the later describes Deathbringers garb and the way he gets to the ring, and the things going around him as he makes his way down. The later is a much better way to show the fans what they see.
Hope this helps a bit. We will be posting other helpful hints in the comming days. Keep up to date.
Not Descriptive: The scene opens and we see The Father sitting at his desk in his office. He raises his head and speaks.
Descriptive: The scene opens and we see The Father sitting at his oak desk, he is signing papers and reading documents. He has a gold pen in hand. The room is covered in pictures of wrestlers, old and new. There is a leather sofa in the corner, and the floors are covered in plush shag carpet. 2 leather padded chairs sit in front of his desk. Behind him a sliding covered window is open over looking the arnea, and the ring.
Show people where you are. Get them in the room with you. Help them to see whats going on. When you describe the area, it helps paint people a better image of whats going on.
Also, describe yourself and your actions better.
Not Descriptive: Deathbringer comes out on the stage and heads down to the ring.
Descriptive: Deathbringer steps out on the stage. He is wearing a black long sleeve t-shirt, with a black motorcylce vest over it. He is wearing blue jeans, with rips down the side. He has a belt on with silver studs all around it. He has black leather motorcycle boots with silver tips. He steps forward and the edge of the stage explodes with pyros. He walks through the sparks and marches down the ramp shaking hands and giving high fives. He reaches the ring apron and thros one leg up, pulling the other behind him to stand on the apron. He steps over the top rope, into the ring, then moves to the center where he raises both hands high above his head. A microphone is thrown in the ring, and he begins to speak.
The first gets the point done quickly. But the later describes Deathbringers garb and the way he gets to the ring, and the things going around him as he makes his way down. The later is a much better way to show the fans what they see.
Hope this helps a bit. We will be posting other helpful hints in the comming days. Keep up to date.
